LONG POST ahead (and pardon, I ain’t know my chestesses was out in the pic below! 😂🤭)
The main question I was asked this past year is “why?” And the “why” is something I’m still answering for my myself.
Those who’ve been around for a while might say this degree has been damn near 10 years in the making. In fact, a close friend of mine, to whom I shared the news I had been admitted into grad school reminded me of just that.
As I’ve journeyed through ten years in the entertainment industry, studying at a top acting conservatory, auditioning, performing in regional premieres, on national stages, and television, working for the Apollo Theater, The Public Theater, and then working on the other side of the casting table for Pulitzer Prize and Tony award-winning off-Broadway and Broadway productions, the road has been long and winding, but also rewarding.
One thing I’ll say though is that as a Black queer person, many of these spaces I’ve had the ‘privilege’ to occupy were not made with me in mind.
It turns out the closer in proximity you are to the things you assume to aspire does not always equate to progress.
It also turns out the endless efforts and episodes attempting to humanize yourself in spaces not intended for you even with the best intentions can become exhausting. And as ya boy has shared this past year, burnout is real. Fighting for your existence is real.
But lord knows I know I’m not the only one fighting these battles. We all are (and when I say ‘we’ you know who you are 😉.) I mean hell, even my girl Beyonce is talmbout spaces she hasn’t felt ‘welcome’, so who the hell am I right? 😭 lmao.
Im also reminded of a quote by ancestor Zora Neale Hurston: ‘Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me.’
And to that legend Hurston, I have to say Period! 😭
So, I guess in many ways, getting this degree symbolizes my decision to write my own stories. I guess too, after all I’ve done, I feel I don’t need to prove anything to anyone. I’m talented , I can write and I’m beautiful (not me sounding like Viola in "The Help" Lmao 😭) I’m enough.
Leave it to me to say ‘f*ck you’ to the powers that be and go and get another degree chile 🤭 lmao.
I want to be very clear though , while I’m immensely grateful for this lil degree, academia will not save US. It mirrors the very systems we exist in and is ridden with respectability politics and power hungry profit. It’s a way but not the only way. Forge your path for you.
I have to take a minute too to simply thank my mama. This has been a year! Especially these last few months which have been particularly difficult for my family. I appreciate you.
I’ve also had the opportunity to share some beautiful stories and I’m greatful for each and every one of them. From the legendary Black Panther OG, Emory Douglas to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy OG @thomfilicia, to the hilarious @joeljamescomedy to the rising superstar, @jordanpierree to @moppnmoppn , to the songwriting legend @iamricolove #ttlo! To the songwriter and recording academy president @harveymasonjr to the legendary @johncameronmitchelland @msambermartin and many others, I can’t thank you all enough for your time and sharing space with me. Forever indebted.
Also, while prayers and posts feel so performative these days, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention my observations of the many injustices occurring from the Middle East, to the Congo, to Sudan, Haiti and so many other crevices of this rock we occupy. As we all should to avoid speaking willfully out of turn, I’ve been trying to listen, have those interpersonal conversations and read up and learn more but one thing I can’t get behind is the genocide of any people. None of us should. Praying for justice across the globe.
Oh and @joebiden We’re fellow alum now Brodie, let’s go ahead and cancel these student loans! 😭 lmao.
Lastly, I want to dedicate my degree to my cousin, Junior who suddenly passed the week before I went to grad school. You were with me everyday cuzzo. This one’s for you. ☝🏾❤️✨
Yall know they can’t keep a bad bish down for too long. 😅😝🙃. I’m still me, but with every shift I found my purpose (and my pen!) sharpening.
Onward.
